N.M. Rose Guedes aka Dreamerqueen. Indie pop music artivist +

© N.M. Rose Guedes 2018

About "Gold"

  Full "Captain Scarlit" costume shot on the "Bio" page

Full "Captain Scarlit" costume shot on the "Bio" page


Live To Dream is a music album made with love and passion, and it is being well received by people, who are excited by it's sound. I believe Live To Dream is capable of reaching “gold” level sales, which is by Canadian standards 40,000 people. This is one of my bucket list dreams. It’s a tough one to reach but maybe just maybe I can, with your help!

Get Live To Dream high quality digital download plus bonusses and perks via Live To Dream benefit store! Pass it on to your friends!

Why Gold?

"Gold" is the level of album sales which amounts to 40,000 units in Canada, my goal is to reach 40,000 people who will pledge for Live To Dream (even though this campaign is technically a fundraiser, see use of funds page.)

"Gold" is a running theme on Live To Dream, but it's not symbolizing materialism and richness per se - rather it is symbolizing redeeming your self-worth after you've been hurt and/or gaslit, and beaten down, emotionally, physically, spiritually. 

It is referred to in the lyrics:

"When you'll never win the lottery/and you're smashed up like old pottery/make kintsukuroi a hobby/light it up for me and you" - New Renaissance, Dreamerqueen (Live To Dream)

Kintsukuroi is a form of Japanese art where broken pottery is repaired with gold lacquer, and thus considered more beautiful because it has been 'put back together' with beauty, re-instating it's value.

"Now I am lying here on the floor/weakened/waiting by the door/for you to come for me/and set me free/I think I have a fever and I see/diamonds on the ceiling oh/now I feel gold/in all my tears and bruises and bones..."

Scarlit, Dreamerqueen (Live To Dream)

The pirate queen character "Captain Scarlit" (picture on the bio page) her name is meant to symbolize "my scars shall be lit up with gold" (Scar-Lit)

Gold is depicted again in the picture on my "Music" page. I am holding a golden apple, symbolizing fruition through taking back your dreams and you self-worth.

Also, I chose the name "Dreamerqueen" in response to, one day, listening to Lorde's "We'll Never Be Royals" song "'cause everyone is like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom .... and we'll never be royals"

I thought "well this is a song based on feudalism and divided human value; why is it that some people are apparently 'more valuable' than others, and the song suggests we should just 'accept this' while worshipping those with designated 'greater value' and trying to be like them in a light of 'well, we'll never be 'as good' as they are." Then I was like "no, I won't - because people shouldn't have to! This is why the system pushes some people, those who don't fit in and weren't born into fortunate situations, down.. and they don't get a fair shot. But every human being has value and deserves a chance!"

You could definitely say this thinking is 'idealistic' in a way, so I playfully but the word "Dreamer" in front of queen, and officially (though some people get it wrong) only the "D" is capitalized, with the 'q' being lower case, and it is one word. The emphasis is on the "Dreamer."

My lifelong dream was to compose, produce, and release an album which would be meaningful, purposeful and empowering - but also fun, artistic, creative, very catchy and enjoyable...and could achieve successful sales. This is a bucket list goal. I waited a little to long to do it, but in 2017 I went for it (as described in my Bio.) I believe that Live To Dream has huge potential to sell successfully. I am no Michael Jackson, Madonna, Britney Spears, Rihanna or Justin Bieber - so I don't think Live To Dream could achieve platinum sales or anything like this. I am not corporate signed, and I am a self-produced one woman show with barriers. The music on Live To Dream is strong, and I feel it is strong enough to at least achieve "Gold" in terms of reaching people who would want to have a copy of the album! I believe Live To Dream has the potential of being a pretty successful 'cult favourite' kind of album!

Private medical care costs are so high, and this adds up to what I would need, to finally attain the level of medical care I need, to have better quality of and a prolonged life in spite of this genetic disease I am afflicted with. This is all I want. Life, and a good future for my kids. As opposed to 'diamond rings' and golden toilet seats or whatever.

Unfortunately, damage was done during all the years I didn't know I had this genetic condition and was gaslit when I tried to ask for help. In terms of how I was treated it is a horror story in a timeline which I blogged about, and I am not the only one. This wrecked my self esteem, so I wasn't too kind to my body some of the time. I was convinced I was a stupid idiot 'imagining" my pain and challenges, and this caused me to question and disbelieve myself, and not take the best care. I know in my heart this is probably part of why things are so bad with the disease today (though it's also progressive) and I deeply regret this. I wish I could take it back. I wish I had known more, and not allowed myself to succumb to gaslighting. "Gold" in so many ways symbolizes trying to take back my worth, and hopefully inspiring others to feel the same way.

Doing this campaign is a long shot, but I am going to give it my best shot. I am basically hoping to save my life, and doing what I love in the process. I cannot think of a better way to fight for my life, than at least doing what I love, so that if I don't make it at least I was doing what I love in the end - so they don't win. This is therepeautic, and leaves legacy. I have always said "It isn't fair the position I and many have ended up in, the lack of care for EDS etc.. but I cannot lay idle. Even if I don't win this battle, I'd rather go down fighting and trying." This is exactly what I am doing, and I will keep doing it. Taking it day by day and week by week.