DreamerQueen

"Music like you've always loved, but never heard before."

 

Anti Bullying Disclaimer

At this point and time in my life, I'm battling a very challenging health condition. I'm trying to find/be at peace, experience joy whenever possible, enjoy/be with the music art I work hard to put forth, and keep on with my work in a positive, forward manner. I don't need or have time for crap.

In the past, when doing my work as "Girl Outside" I experienced a fair bit of bullying, abuse and ignorant harsh criticism via trolling, structural violence, and at times lateral violence, for coming out as openly and perhaps naively as I did, as an 'autistic female advocate', as "Girl Outside." Though I'm glad that my work as "Girl Outside" was helpful and beneficial to some, this was hurtful and damaging. I worked hard to overcome this and move on. At this time in my life, my boundaries are very firm.

I need to ask that, regarding what I share/say/express, people try to respect me/understand my position, be kind and courteous, or leave. If you don't understand something I said and/or disagree with it, please ask, or express this politely - and if not I will have to delete and block.

 

Regarding Politics:

I ask that people please understand and respect my current political stance, which is basically that I am neither 'left' or 'right' winged, I consider myself to be a moderate/independent free thinker. My beliefs are really all over the map; I am quite socially liberal but there are certain things that could perhaps be considered slightly more conservative, but really I prefer not to categorize it. Please respect me when I offer my views in this regard, which I don't plan on doing super often. Though I do consider myself a practicing "artivist" in general, I offer my views on the things I have experience in the most, and prefer to not take a polarized political stance. Please respect me, ie. 'take what you life and leave the rest."

 

Regarding difference in communication:

I'm a humble, funny, caring person. I'm aware of my character quirks and communication differences - much of which are related to my differences as a person on the autistic spectrum, and as an individual with an eccentric and stalwart, though empathic and benevolent, personality. I come by who I am honestly, and I get it: I talk a bit funny at times, I can ramble, sound a bit strange. I may seem bold about things. I may sometimes seem to lack tact. I speak my mind, and sometimes in atypical contexts. That is the way my brain works. But I try to be sensitive and reasonable too.  I think/see things from a different/varied perspective. That's me. Please be respectful.

Additionally, due to my illness getting worse, combine this with autism, and current lack of ability to edit my videos, when you hear me speak, this may sometimes be more obvious than it was before, especially if I am not feeling well. I may sometimes say things in contexts and/or tones that may not initially be well understood, or be misunderstood. I ask for understanding.

If you did not understand something I meant then politely ask me what I meant. If you are offended by something I may have said, I'm sorry - perhaps you may not have understood my context, or we have different opinions. Ask me. Do not jump to conclusions. I am attempting to find peace and healing in spite of challenges, so I have little energy for big comment threads of debate, and a zero tolerance for cruelty. All people intentionally being cruel will be deleted, blocked and banned. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with playfully poking fun at oneself once and awhile, and/or my friends doing this towards me, in good humour. I'm not a person who gets offended super easily by this kind of thing. I myself can at times have a wry and sarcastic sense of humour which can at times be dark! However, there's a difference between the playful and well meaning, and abusive bullying intentionally meant to be hurtful, coming from a cruel, ignorance-born or simply hateful place. You don't have to like me, but I have zero tolerance for bullying. 

 

Regarding "Faker" Accusations:

I have 100% zero tolerance for "faker" accusations, regarding my illness. The Ehlers-Danlos syndrome condition I'm battling has been medically diagnosed by specialists four times over, and is therefore factual. Anyone who knows me in my personal life can vouch for my genuine and immense struggle with this health condition, which is literally impossible to fake.

As for the autism; I am a woman positively diagnosed, multiple times now, as being on the autistic spectrum (to be specific - asperger syndrome was the diagnosis at the time.) These diagnoses were made using psycho-educational testing and viewing childhood video footage, and interviewing family and friends. They were thorough and are completely official. I also think my aspergers' is obvious enough, to those who know and learn about it. Autism can present itself in many different ways, because everyone has their own personality, as do I.

Those who choose to apply my autistic blind spots and idiosyncratic ways, which I cannot necessarily help, to a pathology which in reality doesn't represent me, or anyone who chooses to conclude that the illness I'm unfortunately battling is either fake or exaggerated, is doing so out of either ignorance (lack of awareness re: adult autism) or in order to suit their agenda to be hateful. Though I may not be able to change this I still don't have to read it/view it, and there is zero tolerance on all my social media sites.  

If a person dislikes some of the things I say, because they do not agree with my opinions and/or views and they feel differently because they've had a different experience, this is their right - as long as they're respectful - not rude or abusive with their words. 

Abuses and assumptions based on harsh and ignorant criticisms are not welcome here, or on any of my social media outlets, and will not be tolerated. Enjoying and/or relating with my music and/or message, having solidarity, or being interested to learn more about adults living with autism, and/or EDS - All that is most welcome here!

 

Regarding "Attention Seeking" :

Bullies and critics have sometimes thrown the accusation of being "attention seeking" at me. Ok - well yes, in a certain context, at certain times, in certain ways - I do "seek attention" - with purpose. Other times, I wish to have privacy. I think this is clear. But this is also common among self-advocates seeking to raise awareness, and it's common with anyone involved in the performing arts. So yes, I aim to gain specific attentions, but not in a negative or shallow way - in a positive way for the purpose of making a difference, for increasing awareness and in this being helpful to others (as well as myself.) Using "you are attention seeking" in the context of an insult sort of makes no sense, has no fair base, and distorts the reality of what I am actually doing as I decide to put myself out there. My motives are understandable, fair, passionate, heartfelt and definitely sincere. They are not in the least bit sinister. Referring to me as an"attention seeker" in a way which is meant to be some sort of cruel insult is done so in a perversely negative context. It's distortedly cynical, and not based in reality.

If you really don't like me or what I do, that's fine - but I ask for reasonable respect. I'm fighting for my life and trying to reach bucket list goals. So follow Thumper from Bambi's advice, and move on. I will no longer accept gaslighting. Those who cannot be respectful to this will be immediately deleted and blocked, and ignored/forgotten about from then on.

Thank you.