About Scarlit-Rose Ashcraft aka Dreamer Queen
Welcome to my website. My name is Scarlit-Rose Ashcraft; I am known as Rosie or Rose to friends/fam, and I am musically known as Dreamer Queen - which is a playfully satirical description of one who dreamt of making great pop music and has managed to - but not quite in the way she’d envisioned as a kid with a pipe dream. I’m a 38 year old music artist, writer and poet, advocate, mom, creative fashion lover/freelance model and survivor. I fight an unusual and mostly invisible but difficult and painful chronic, genetic condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS.) I enjoy creative (and mostly healthy!) cooking, my furbabies, history, culture, current events and geography, English, writing and poetry, science especially biology, geology and astronomy (and astrology - but that’s not a science!), spirituality, spending time with good friends and/or family, getting out into nature for light walks when I can, artistically and creatively dressing up for my (tasteful only!) modeling on OnlyFans or when I’m up for the fun, and of course… music. I compose and produce original, catchy and meaningful pop music under the artist name Dreamer Queen.
Although I’m technically stuck in chronic pain and significant life limitations due to having one of the most painful (and at this time in history, still incurable) of all chronic conditions, a combination of necessary palliative medicine and sheer determination to rise above and live as best as I can - while I also try to spread awareness about EDS so change can happen in the future - keeps me going!
What else keeps me going is your support for my work. Due to my chronic illness’ challenges I am no longer able to work outside the home and only on disability. This isn’t much to work with when trying to manage a complex and multi-challenging rare disease, from special diet items to uncovered medications and necessary supplements. Your music purchases, ebook purchases, OnlyFans modeling subscriptions and so forth - and even if you can’t afford anything other than sharing my content, giving a ‘like’ and engaging - helps me out with the month to month costs of managing my EDS. Additionally, I have a Go Fund Me geared at raising funds for future, more expensive and in depth life-extending treatment abroad (as it’s not available in Canada.) Since my Go Fund Me is exempt from earning deductions, it is reserved for the kind of treatment I am striving for in the future, which if I tried to earn to pay for, I risk getting cut off (For more info and links visit my Support/Fundraising page!)
Since I was a child I’ve loved music. I was a creative, inquisitive child and I dreamt of being a pop music artist. As shared on the music page, I’d even dress up in eclectic ‘outfits’ and use a hairbrush as a microphone. I liked to make up melodies as a younger child, and I began composing music from poems I’d written in early adolescence, and at that point became even more serious about such a dream. I became self taught in both guitar and keyboard, and I studied (and mastered!) how to write pop music and 'hooks.’ At age 18 I auditioned for a music and talent showcase and was short listed and invited to Edmonton. However, in Edmonton I was cut due to a performance that didn’t go well as I only had a cheap demo backing me and I had great trouble hearing it over the speakers. I was crushed and stopped writing music for a few years. I returned to writing music while living in Vancouver in 2007-2010 and came up with some good ones, and as shared on the musics’ story page, collaborated to produce a few songs. However, I was a little naive as to how to get out there, and life’s challenges were upstaging things as I was forced to move back home to Victoria. I never did have a lot of financial or parental support around me.. so in spite of these few potential opportunities that dream slipped through my fingers… However, I always kept my songs in the ‘back pocket’ of my memory and my heart.
Flash forward all the way to 2017, I was 30 years old, with two school aged young sons and in moderate stages of fighting a complex and painful genetic illness. To boot, I’d just gone through a traumatic battle before finally being properly diagnosed. I felt inspired by this triumph which I’d fought for - of finally proving the truth to my country’s medical system and receiving a somewhat-apology from Victoria Genetics - and I also knew that my condition was advancing and would likely progress (especially due to the limits in treatment availability.) So, the urge to do something about what was looking like merely a ‘pipe dream’ overcame me. That’s how the artist name ‘Dreamer Queen’ came about. It’s an almost sarcastic ‘ode’ to this act. Dreamer Queen symbolizes defiantly honouring my dream (plus, the music is actually good! haha..) … Not Under the Machine was in reference to ‘not being thrown under the bus.’ I have shared my story in an interview with Cheryl Lyn Perfect on Heart to Heart radio here.
I finally decided to honor my dream in the summer of 2017 - and the first version of my self-produced debut album “Not Under the Machine” - the album name being an ode to my previously mentioned experience and triumph - was first released independently. I wrote and composed the songs with the overall theme of overcoming bullying and oppression, regaining confidence, hope, not giving up, expressing oneself from within oneself, and celebrating feeling empowered. The songs are all melodic with compelling versus and catchy chorus hooks. I then created the multilayered and eclectic musical arrangements on a music program (Logic 10) after taking a short but intense tutorial on the program. This was all done in one summer; it felt like a dream come true and was one of the happiest times of my life! Then, I passed my arrangements on to the talented Eric Hogg of Soma Sound, who ingeniously mixed and mastered them, as well as added guitars and vocal harmonies. We made a great team and an excellent album, which we released that autumn. Not Under the Machine was remastered, added to, and re-released in late 2020. It’s now being released, including onto radio, under K Dragon Records. As described on the music page Not Under the Machines’ reviews have been radiantly positive! You can purchase it via K Dragon Records’ various outlets (see Get the Album via Music Page) or get it as a gratuity gift by donation to my healthcare GoFundMe (more info on Support/Fundraising page.)
I am hoping for the possibility to record and release another album in the next couple of years - which will be a mix of new material and old favourites yet to be materialized - as I strive to improve access to treatment for my condition.
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, or ‘EDS.’ EDS is a genetic connective tissue disorder that one is born with. It causes weakened collagen - which is everywhere in your body and is your body’s ‘glue.’ Weakened collagen causes many problems in the body (more about EDS on my What is EDS page.) Therefore, EDS is a systemic condition (meaning, affects many systems throughout the body.) EDS often worsens gradually, and eventually becomes quite profoundly difficult and serious, especially due to barriers most EDS patients are faced with such as lack of proper recognition, delay of accurate diagnosis, and lack of access to EDS-specific treatment - which is often unavailable in most public healthcare systems at this current time. My own story reflects this situation as well. As a result, at this time in point and time in my life, my battle with EDS’ complications has become intense. I am on several medications - 13 to be exact - to try and manage and keep stable with the complications of my condition.
As a writer and content creator I advocate for and educate about things I’ve experienced living with; chronic, invisible disability and illness, neurodiversity, and ableism and lookism issues related to those things. I myself am neurodiverse (diagnosed autism one - formerly Asperger Syndrome), as well deal with cptsd (complex post traumatic stress disorder) due to my experiences. However, I continue to strive for gradual healing through art, writing, teaching, regular counselling (no shame in that!) and of course setting boundaries. Things need to change regarding the way people and systems treat neurodiverse folks and people with chronic illnesses and disabilities - very much including invisible ones, where lookism is often unfairly and inaccurately applied to situations of bullying such as accusing invisible illness sufferers and people with dynamic disabilities (those who may use wheelchairs and mobility aides some of the time and not others) of being ‘fakers.’ One would not believe some of the egregious cruelty out there, which I too have experienced many a time. However - I’ve had to learn that it really stems from ignorance as well as projected fear, and educating those who are open at least enough, as well as rising above those who are not open and choose to continue hating, is key.
For me, it’s important to keep practicing rising above wilful ignorance and lack of compassion, while enthusiastically teaching those who are open to learning, in order to survive and move forward. It’s important to speak out even when it’s hard.
I also love to write poetry and have been doing so since I was 11 years old. I have written two books, a philosophical/autobiographical book in 2014 called Girl Outside, and a best-of poetry collection 2014-2021 called Purple Ashes in the Sky. I am currently, very gradually working on a third book which is a biography - The Fractures in Rainbows - which will include opening up about a painful and difficult childhood and adolescence, mental health struggles and the painful experiences I went through in the medical system fighting to get both my autism one and my EDS recognized (more info on the writing page.) I share about my present and past experiences, and what I’ve learned from them, in works like blogging and book writing. It can be difficult - but I feel compelled to share, educate, relate and help others.
Growing up I was challenged with unrecognized health compromises, and I was quirky and ‘different’ quietly struggling with undiagnosed autism one. I also came from a difficult upbringing in the home. Music, poetry and journaling helped me through a lot. I developed both good coping mechanisms, but also some poor and detrimental coping mechanisms that I’d have to conquer. Yes, there were times that I turned my pain into self destruction as opposed to construct - but it’s important for me, today, to fight for only the latter!
I was never that ‘well’ as a kid, but it was invisible and that was tough. I tired more easily than other kids and dealt with more infections, easy bruising, pain, dental issues and other EDS traits - but I was repeatedly brushed off, minimized and worse… until I became hard on myself. Without any specific information, recognition or help I found ways to ‘push’ through life - albeit superficially - until I really couldn’t anymore beginning in my mid twenties. I only stumbled across the answers I was looking for then, when my ‘coping wall’ began to crumble and I needed to know why. At that point I reached out for recognition, validation and help but was instead shocked to be met with unnecessarily frustrating and painful discrimination, resistance and flat out disbelief. I reflect back on and about that story today, even though that can be hard, for the purpose of crucial awareness and need for change.
Since I became more overtly ill with EDS (I even have a port implanted in my chest for weekly IV infusions!) it’s been a journey that’s both nearly broken me and changed me immensely. In spite of how tough it has been and still is, I’ve developed further. By having to cope with what I have and being forced to face personal fears and whatnot, I’ve learned some important things and I am eager to share in order to help others and to raise awareness. I am, of course, still developing as I journey further along in this chronic fight for life. None of this means that it’s not continually tough or that I want to be going through this. I don’t have a choice - but I still choose to keep striving for my goals and to rise above as best I can.
Sadly and frustratingly, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is one of the most poorly understood chronic illnesses in the world and EDSers like me have to deal with quite a bit of trouble in terms of access to proper care, therapies, interventional treatments such as neurospinal care, willing neurosurgerons and neurologists providing treatments and surgeries, autonomic nervous system treatment and recognition, gastroenterology and immunogy specializing in EDS complications. Even just basic public understanding of what we endure is quite poor. Public awareness for EDS and it’s comorbids is still not nearly good enough, and I strive to do my part in continuing to improve that - so that we can get better access to care for a more ethical quality of life. Unfortunately, we currently have to deal with quite a bit of ableism stemming from ignorance - such as disbelief and lack of recognition, respect and validation from those who have a poor understanding of EDS. I like to call this ‘disbelief ableism.’
I am among those of we self and community advocates committed to advocating for awareness, understanding, recognition, accessibility and change. I don’t want others to have to go through several traumatic things which I’ve had to experience. I had no idea how profound of an issue ableism is before I myself became ill and significantly disabled. I felt - and was hurt by - that burn. It’s not fun to have to deal with that on top of preexisting trauma. However, I have fought to transcend beyond things that could otherwise break me and to turn my pain into construct. In this I feel compelled to be a passionate advocate regarding ableism, classism, neurodiversity and for the marginalized in this journey. We are human and we are worthy.
EDSers - and others with less-known chronic illness and rare disease sufferers - currently and globally experience inadequate care, societal mistreatment and even medical gaslighting. We are human so of course this has a profound effect on many EDS patients’ physical and mental health. This is why change is so badly needed here. As well, neurodiverse people suffer from various forms of (sometimes even profound) discrimination and social/life stress globally. There remains a lack of understanding and accommodation for folks on the spectrum especially. Some change is happening there, but more evolving is still needed. More evolving is needed when it comes to folks being more aware of conscious and unconscious ableism, as well as classism ..because, of course, poverty remains another core, root cause for struggle and hardship.
Sadly, there are stats to prove that folks on the spectrum, on average, have lifespans shortened to just middle age due to all the aforementioned. When it comes to EDS vs the lack of adequate care, it’s a similar situation. I myself am faced with both these things, but I try not to think about the far future too much and try to focus on the present and near future.
As a person who lives with complex trauma from living through life marginalized by invisible disabilities/rare disease, neurological differences and limited income, one can see that much of my writing/content relates to these experiences via insights that help raise awareness, as well as a genuine quest to find healing and peace. I hope to share more of what I’ve learned over time throughout my life, as well as what I continue to learn. I continually try my best to face and rise above a mostly-invisible (and often very private) yet profound day to day struggle with EDS. I take each day and week at a time, hold onto hope, and try to ‘steal joys’ - as I call it - when I can.
I continue to strive for improvement in terms of reaching my musical and artistic dreams as I am able to, writing and advocacy-related speaking, trauma/spiritual healing goals and last but not least adequately, lovingly guiding my sons into adulthood. I hold onto spiritual faith and hope that the chips will fall into the right places, in one way or another, if the right steps are taken and if I strive to more constructively cope with the struggles I face.
I feel compelled to pass what I can onto others. I will keep trying my best to write and make music/art. I am truly grateful to all the wonderful folks who’ve supported, related with and/or learned from my work.
If you’d like to help/support, check out my Fundraising page.
- Scarlit-Rose (“Rosie”) Ashcraft